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My name is Jasna. I am married to my Very First Love! Before this, we had a one-year break because we weren't ready for commitment ( I was the only one in his life and vice versa). It is true that when you lose someone, then you really start to appreciate him. Ask Me Anything!

Jasna Panzalovic
Jun 18, 2017

What is you experience?

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Conversation (75)

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I am married to my HS sweetheart 22 years! 

Jun 19, 7:29PM EDT0

How long until you know a marriage is 'for life'?

Jun 18, 10:15AM EDT0

I think that no one should get married before dating for at least a year. You need to have many different situations together if you want to really meet someone.

Jun 18, 5:06PM EDT0

Did you or your partner date others during the break?

Jun 17, 9:15PM EDT0

Yes, we were. But it wasn't anything serious. We haven't been in any relationship. It was just like something that helped us not to think about our situation.

Jun 18, 4:19PM EDT0

What are some warning signs that your marriage needs help?

Jun 17, 4:21AM EDT0

If you don't enjoy spending time with your partner, that's a big alert. Or, communication issues. But I believe that if people really like each other anything can be solved.

Jun 18, 4:20PM EDT0

How long was your engagement before your marriage?

Jun 17, 12:36AM EDT0

We were engaged about 6 months. 

Jun 18, 4:22PM EDT0

Did you have a church wedding, and why or why not?

Jun 16, 9:13AM EDT0

We had a church wedding because we are Christians, and that's is an important thing in our religion.

Jun 18, 4:23PM EDT0

How much is being married a part of your identity?

Jun 16, 6:47AM EDT0

It is something really important for me. Since I was young I always needed to have someone behind me, who really understand me and someone I can share my life with. So, having my own family is the first place in my plans.

Jun 18, 4:25PM EDT0

How many people should you date before you're ready to marry?

Jun 16, 3:26AM EDT0

Not many. But I think at least two. Because if you date only one person sometimes you don't appreciate it's qualities because you think that is normal, and anyone else is the same. But when you meet someone else you realize that isn't any person good and right for you.

Jun 18, 4:27PM EDT0

Do you have an opinion on the right age to get married?

Jun 16, 12:56AM EDT0

It isn't so much about age. It depends on what plans one person has for the life. If I hadn't studied and waited for my graduation I would have married even before.

Jun 18, 4:29PM EDT0

How many of your friends are married, divorced, and single?

Jun 15, 10:40PM EDT0

Most of them are still in relationships.  Some of them are really serious. But, these who are single just didn't find the right person, or they had a bad break up. But I had never hanging out with someone who is single and who is dating the other person every week.

Jun 18, 4:31PM EDT0

What do you consider the ideal length of an engagement?

Jun 15, 9:50AM EDT0

I think that depends on the length of the relationship. If the relationship is long enough and you know each other well, then the engagement should be just long enough to prepare everything for the wedding.

Jun 18, 4:33PM EDT0

Is there any danger to marrying your very first love?

Jun 15, 5:42AM EDT0

Sometimes in this situation, you can't be sure if you really love this person and want to spend your life together, or you are just used to it, to be in this relationship. You need to test it, to have no more doubts.

Jun 18, 4:36PM EDT0

How would things be different if you hadn't taken that break?

Jun 14, 9:46PM EDT0

We couldn't be sure do we really love each other, or this is just a habit. We just needed to be separated to see what is that like. After this, we are sure that we can't really live without each other.

Jun 18, 4:38PM EDT0

How important is the wedding itself in the life of a marriage?

Jun 14, 5:23PM EDT0

In my opinion, Living together is more important than the wedding. But the wedding is a good thing because you can share your happiness with friends and family.

Jun 18, 4:40PM EDT0

Did you seek counseling to be sure you were ready for marriage?

Jun 14, 4:06PM EDT0

No, we have tested us on our way. So, we didn't need any advice.

Jun 18, 4:41PM EDT0

What advice would you give young couples uncertain about marriage?

Jun 14, 7:56AM EDT0

I would tell them not to rush if they aren't sure. Sometimes is better to separate for a while, and be alone with your thoughts. To realize what they really want. They shouldn't get married just because they have an obligation.

Jun 18, 4:43PM EDT0

How much of marriage is really about romantic love?

Jun 14, 5:56AM EDT0

It is a big part of the marriage. But the more important thing, in my opinion, is also a friendship. To be honest, no one feels those "buterflies" after 10 years of the marriage. The more important is the fact that you have someone who really understand you and who won't give up on you of if everything goes wrong.

Jun 18, 4:46PM EDT0

How do you think you and your partner changed after the break?

Jun 14, 5:06AM EDT0

We both started to appreciate each other more. That's the biggest change. And this whole bad experience made us a better person.

Jun 18, 4:47PM EDT0

Why do you think the divorce rate is so high?

Jun 14, 5:05AM EDT0

Because people choose to get married just because that is something they should do. And they don't choose the right person. They pick up someone who just came at the right moment. Also, when married people live like single people, that marriage will end sooner or later.

Jun 18, 4:49PM EDT0

How has the reality of marriage differed from your ideal vision?

Jun 14, 12:49AM EDT0

It is the same as I thought it would be. I don't have a perfect marriage of course. But I am a pretty realistic person, so I didn't expect the fairytale. As long as we love and respect each other, I couldn't be happier.

Jun 18, 4:52PM EDT0

What do you do daily to keep your marriage healthy?

Jun 13, 9:00PM EDT0

I was lucky that my partner and I share the same interests. So, we do a lot of things together. Like, spending a day in nature, or we workout at the gym together. We talk a lot about everything( in my opinion that us the most important thing) and we encourage each other.

Jun 14, 7:51AM EDT0

How does someone know they are ready for marriage?

Jun 13, 4:47PM EDT0

You just need to get that feeling, and then you will know you are ready. You also need to accomplish all the goals before this. I mean about something you can't share, something you have to do on your own.

Last edited @ Jun 18, 4:55PM EDT.
Jun 18, 4:54PM EDT0

What are ways to test if you're ready for commitment?

Jun 13, 3:45PM EDT0

It is individual. But separating is always a good thing. Just to clear your thoughts. ( not necessarily date other just to spend some time alone)

Jun 18, 4:57PM EDT0

Do you consider your marriage a 50/50 partnership?

Jun 13, 3:15PM EDT0

Yes. I would say that is the case with my marriage.

Jun 18, 4:58PM EDT0

How much time did you spend planning for the wedding?

Jun 13, 2:55PM EDT0

About 6 months. But last month was the most stressful

Jun 14, 7:47AM EDT0

What have you learned about your partner since your marriage?

Jun 13, 9:23AM EDT0

Now when we share everything and make plans together, I have learned that we are really similar. I knew that before but now that is more noticeable. He is really ambitious and hardworking guy. And I realized how good person he is from some situations that happened since then.And of course, I have found out that he isn't so neat as I thought he was :)

Jun 14, 7:45AM EDT0

What do you think of your chances for a forever marriage?

Jun 12, 11:39PM EDT0

I think that we have a good chance. First of all, we are the best friends and I think that is the most important thing that improves our chances the most.

Jun 14, 7:38AM EDT0

How did you feel during the yearlong break from your partner?

Jun 12, 11:39PM EDT0

It was the hardest time of my life. I can tell that for sure. I felt like I lost my best friend and the biggest support. But I knew that we had to do that. During this period of time, I felt like I was doing the right thing and that something good will come up from everything.  Fortunately, I was right.

Last edited @ Jun 14, 7:35AM EDT.
Jun 14, 7:08AM EDT0

How old were you when you took the plunge to marry?

Jun 12, 11:35PM EDT0

I was 24

Jun 14, 7:09AM EDT0

How much did you end up spending on the wedding?

Jun 12, 10:37PM EDT0

Wedding is always expensive, but the big part of the spending you get back from the guests.

Jun 18, 5:04PM EDT0

How do you think couples should decide on a wedding budget?

Jun 12, 10:29PM EDT0

They should make plans together. When they get married that is something they will be doing together for the rest of the life.

Jun 18, 5:03PM EDT0

What is your opinion on marriage equality rights?

Jun 12, 9:33PM EDT0

That is an important thing for me. I need to feel equal. Because I can do everything as he can ( expect those physical things) No one should feel like he worth less

Jun 18, 5:02PM EDT0

Is there anything wrong with 'dating around' to be sure you're marriage-ready?

Jun 12, 7:19PM EDT0

I wouldn't say that something is wrong with that, but it is a really hard time of you are going through this. But if you can be with anyone else, and after everything you come back to that one person, that is the best proof that you are meant to be. That is exactly what other people who don't start a relationship early do ( dating many people to find the right one). But, we were together since we were 17 so this was our way to do that.

Jun 14, 7:04AM EDT0

What was the biggest surprise to you after you married?

Jun 12, 4:17PM EDT0

I really don't know what to tell. But we already knew each other very well so it didn't happen anything that was so unexpected

Jun 14, 6:59AM EDT0

How long has it been since you married your love?

Jun 12, 2:22PM EDT0

We got married 10 months ago

Jun 14, 6:57AM EDT0

Did you feel any pressure to get married?

Jun 12, 2:05PM EDT0

It was just too hard for me to be in such a long relationship (8 years). So, I really wanted to change something. And after everything we have been through marriage was our first choice. But, i didn't feel any pressure if you mean that someone influenced me.

Jun 14, 6:55AM EDT0

How has marriage changed the relationship between you two?

Jun 12, 12:33PM EDT0

It made everything better. Now we live together and make plans together. We were also spending a lot of time together even when we were in a relationship, but I couldn't stand the fact that I am in a relationship for 8 years and nothing is changing. So, marriage was the right thing for two of us. We are much closer now when we share everything.

Last edited @ Jun 14, 6:52AM EDT.
Jun 14, 6:51AM EDT0

What does 'being ready for commitment' mean to you?

Jun 12, 12:20PM EDT0

I meant to get married. But not just to get married, as many people do today. If you decide for that, you need to really respect your partner and NEVER cheat on him. Stay with that One person for the last of you life.

Jun 14, 6:48AM EDT0